Please pray we can hammer out a plan to address all that is going on. Thyroid numbers are bad, liver enzymes worse, pancreatitis flare up since the weekend, I think my gallbladder is chiming in now too. I am not sleeping through the night either. Pain level is very high and I'm maxxed out on medication that hurts my liver further... I could go on and on.
I felt so good for a little while, but I'm going downhill again. It's been a week steady downhill, worse everyday. I just hope with new eyes and new treatments, we can stop it. There is only so much he can do long distance though. I have no doctor here yet. I just hope to stay out of the hospital.
I've been here so many times, sick again after a big improvement. I'd be lying if I said I really believed I'd ever be well again. I believe in prayer, but maybe this is the answer? We don't all get what we want just because we ask. I'll be well in heaven.
So sorry you are going thru this Nicole. Seems like Lyme just takes us little by little and there often seems so little we can do about it.
ReplyDeleteJust today I put my situation to an analogy. I love analogies. Mine was this. I'm stuck in a hole. Maybe its an open grave, who knows. I feel like I'm fighting so hard to climb the wall of the hole to get out. Just when I feel I've reached a point where I can get a foothold and a little hope that soon I will be out of the hole I loose my grip and fall backwards. Often falling what seems like all the way to the bottom again.
I know this disease is hard. I know you are hurting and sometimes you feel like its a loosing battle. But you have to keep fighting.
With a the setbacks, its hard to see the improvements we have made. With all the pain I'm in right now, I often forget that I was in a wheelchair last March because I couldn't stand on my feet for more than 5 minutes. I forget that I haven't had a major hallucination in over a year. Its so easy to fall into this false since of doom because we loose the ability to see the good because of the pain we are currently feeling.
I want you to step back. Don't think about your pain, as hard as that may be. I Wang you to sit and think of just 1 thing that has improved since you started treatment. Doesbf have to be spectacular. Anything. There is something. When you think of it you hold onto that. You smile and you feel proud that you have made that improvement.
Healing from Lyme is a series of these improvements. One thing at a time. One step at a time. One hour, one day, one week and soon one month.
Remission will come. It will come. I have been there and I'm here to tell you its real. Its not a dream. Its not a fantasy. We can get there. We will get there! Together we will.
Nicole, have you seen Dr tate janssen in Lawrence? He did amazing things for my lupus while I was pregnant with Nathan. He is an AK chiropractor, owns and runs The Natural Clinic on 9th St. Though I don't have Lyme, Lupus was no picnic I've been in your kind of pain and I'm praying for you!
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