Over the halfway mark. Feeling pretty good. Very thankful I can do this. We are putting into place new things to add to what I do at home to help maintain.
We enjoyed a quiet weekend at Rockaway last weekend- just me, Terra, Kathy and one little one- Rafael. We didn't even touch the sand which seems like a shame but we did what we wanted! That was mostly watch movies and crochet. :)
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Doozy
Well, today was the best day ever, until the end part. I went from 6 am to 3 pm not needing ANY pain medicine, which is a long time for me. Yay! I tolerated the 3 bags of IV fluid meds well, no nausea, no headache, then I was going to get two quick shots before I left for pain relief in my neck and migraines. Little did I know what all that entailed. The treatment is called prolozone and has kept people from needing invasive disc and cartilage joint surgeries. Amazing stuff. This may not sell you on it though...
It started with 6 numbing shots, which should have clued me in this wasn't going to be quick and painless, right? No! I'm an optimist when it comes to my health, don't ya know?! I wouldn't still be alive and trying if I wasn't! Then, he stuck a needle deep down between my vertebrae in my neck and filled the area near my nerves with a large volume of fluid full of I don't know what all-- folic acid, a mild steroid to keep from excess inflammation from the shot, and several things I don't remember now followed by ozone gas. The cocktail heals tissues and draws blood to the area for pain relief and healing. The first shot on the left made me feel a little numb in my arm and warm, but ok. The second on the right made me feel numb, then super hot, then dizzier than I've ever been in my life and like I was on some kind of drug. I think the fluid pressed on a nerve to my ear because I could audibly hear the fluid going in, the bubbling of the ozone gas, then my world flopped completely upside down. I had no equilibrium at all.
When it was over, I knocked a cup of water over trying to move it and threw up until I was dry heaving and sweating profusely. When I finally realized opening my eyes made me cascade into a whole new round of nausea, I blindly climbed my way up on the exam table and tried to will the dizziness away. Someone brought me a blanket and turned off the light and I laid there for an hour or so, I think, and wondered what I signed myself up for?
It passed though and I'm better now. I'm 2/4 on throwing up after treatments. Not fun. I think I felt progress today before that last treatment, which is fast. Last time it took 1.5 weeks before I noticed anything positive. No pain, no gain, right?
Super exciting good news for me is that my doc wants to carry my soap in his clinic. He wants activated charcoal and bentonite clay soap for his patients to aid in detox. I am so happy! His office workers all love it and want some too. So I need to get my website done and more soap made. If I could apply sales of this soap to defray treatment costs...ahh what a blessing. Something I love to do for something I desperately need and can't afford to do. This could be really great!
P.S. Isn't my niece hilarious?
It started with 6 numbing shots, which should have clued me in this wasn't going to be quick and painless, right? No! I'm an optimist when it comes to my health, don't ya know?! I wouldn't still be alive and trying if I wasn't! Then, he stuck a needle deep down between my vertebrae in my neck and filled the area near my nerves with a large volume of fluid full of I don't know what all-- folic acid, a mild steroid to keep from excess inflammation from the shot, and several things I don't remember now followed by ozone gas. The cocktail heals tissues and draws blood to the area for pain relief and healing. The first shot on the left made me feel a little numb in my arm and warm, but ok. The second on the right made me feel numb, then super hot, then dizzier than I've ever been in my life and like I was on some kind of drug. I think the fluid pressed on a nerve to my ear because I could audibly hear the fluid going in, the bubbling of the ozone gas, then my world flopped completely upside down. I had no equilibrium at all.
When it was over, I knocked a cup of water over trying to move it and threw up until I was dry heaving and sweating profusely. When I finally realized opening my eyes made me cascade into a whole new round of nausea, I blindly climbed my way up on the exam table and tried to will the dizziness away. Someone brought me a blanket and turned off the light and I laid there for an hour or so, I think, and wondered what I signed myself up for?
It passed though and I'm better now. I'm 2/4 on throwing up after treatments. Not fun. I think I felt progress today before that last treatment, which is fast. Last time it took 1.5 weeks before I noticed anything positive. No pain, no gain, right?
Super exciting good news for me is that my doc wants to carry my soap in his clinic. He wants activated charcoal and bentonite clay soap for his patients to aid in detox. I am so happy! His office workers all love it and want some too. So I need to get my website done and more soap made. If I could apply sales of this soap to defray treatment costs...ahh what a blessing. Something I love to do for something I desperately need and can't afford to do. This could be really great!
P.S. Isn't my niece hilarious?
Monday, May 6, 2013
Here in Oregon
I made it here and through my first day of treatments. I had four IV's and when I got up to leave, waves of nausea came over me and I threw up four times before I left. One for each IV bag?
My concern today isn't me but Thomas, who is at home sick with a 101 fever. Mommy-ing from a distance through Hannah is hard and I wish I could be there for him. Pray for him.
Tomorrow will be a rough and long day. I have been dreading tomorrow more than today actually. I hope it goes better than I imagine and I sure hope Tom turns a corner for the better. I can't stand to see his sick face. :(
My concern today isn't me but Thomas, who is at home sick with a 101 fever. Mommy-ing from a distance through Hannah is hard and I wish I could be there for him. Pray for him.
Tomorrow will be a rough and long day. I have been dreading tomorrow more than today actually. I hope it goes better than I imagine and I sure hope Tom turns a corner for the better. I can't stand to see his sick face. :(
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Unexpected gift
I woke up from an IV induced sick-nap to a mysterious letter addressed to myself from myself that I did not write. I opened it just now and it was full of cash and a lovely encouraging letter full of verses from someone anonymous. If you, or someone you know sent this, we want you to know it arrived safely. We also want you to know that it arrived safely against worse odds than you know! Our mail gets opened and stolen here all the time and we can't seem to get it stopped. People close to us have learned to send checks or use PO Box 486 because we have had gift cards, cash in birthday cards and other gifts stolen. Also, someone smashed our mailbox a couple weeks ago and it doesn't even properly close right now.
The letter was still intact and it was very carefully packaged. It was a real shock to open and have ten $50 bills stick out though. Hannah said first thing, "Wow, I can't believe that wasn't stolen." However, we know these little things are not too great for our great God in Heaven.
We had not yet spoken about what to do about cash in Oregon for food and expenses for two weeks because we don't really have any extra. (What's to talk about in that case?) Jim has been praying without my knowledge about what to do. He sometimes shields me from additional worry because of my adrenal problems. That prayer was answered before I even knew about it. So, we both thank you. We are continually humbled by undeserved love.
I leave May the 5th. Pray for my family during our separation for safety and effectiveness of treatments as well, if you would.
Love,
Jim & Nicole
The letter was still intact and it was very carefully packaged. It was a real shock to open and have ten $50 bills stick out though. Hannah said first thing, "Wow, I can't believe that wasn't stolen." However, we know these little things are not too great for our great God in Heaven.
We had not yet spoken about what to do about cash in Oregon for food and expenses for two weeks because we don't really have any extra. (What's to talk about in that case?) Jim has been praying without my knowledge about what to do. He sometimes shields me from additional worry because of my adrenal problems. That prayer was answered before I even knew about it. So, we both thank you. We are continually humbled by undeserved love.
I leave May the 5th. Pray for my family during our separation for safety and effectiveness of treatments as well, if you would.
Love,
Jim & Nicole
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Just a crumb
Do you ever feel like you are stuck in a vast deserted place void of landmarks looking for a breadcrumb from heaven that urges you to 'go this way?'
Monday, April 8, 2013
Oregon bound? I think.
Looks like I'll be heading back to Oregon for a couple weeks during the first part of May, Lord willing. Then, I may go back to Oregon every 6 weeks or so for 1-2 week treatments, as the Lord allows. After a lot of prayer and thought, this is what Jim and I feel led to try to do. With my illnesses, there isn't a quick fix and this is a longer term approach to gaining and maintaining wellness. We only have the first trip planned at this time with my doctor. We will buy airline tickets for it today. Please pray that we will be clearly led the way in which we should go, one step at a time. This is what we want even more than simply me being well.
I have to tell you all, God has been good in providing helps in all forms when we need them. I can't praise God enough for the amazing ways in which He is evident in our lives through this. One huge bonus of being so sick is there is no doubt about a real and living Savior. His presence is undeniable when things suddenly just simply unfold before us out of complete confusion at times. We have this first trip mostly hammered out, but not the next. We are learning to take things one at a time, in faith, as we never did before.
This may be no big revelation to you, and if that is the case, I am very glad, but I have learned something I would like to share. As a person who used to plan things way in advance and stick tight to my plans, it is a big deal for me to learn to give my "planning" up for "whatever-comes-next" instead. Even at the risk of appearing flaky, unreliable, lazy and all of those other undesirables that type-A personalities loathe, I do not plan like I once did. Regrettably, I gave up my planning problem only by force, so I cannot toot my own horn here. (Note: more force required to change more stubborn people.) Currently, I am often unable to even plan to cook supper a few hours later, so I rarely make plans anymore. Here is where the problem/lesson learned about planning is:
I used to make decisions fast and often without consulting anything other than my own agenda. I used to be guilty of praying that God would work according to my very detailed plans rather than fully trusting His. It is silly to think I could become so focused on my own plans and still think I was allowing God to be in control of me day to day. There is a fine balance to be found between not wasting your day/time/resources by thinking ahead a bit and truly being free to adjust to life as God leads. One sign you may need help with this is if you constantly have feelings of disappointment or failure for things 'not going as you had planned.' I have become very familiar and comfortable with things not going as I planned as I never have before. It's quite freeing, really. When you give up pretending to be in control over your life and trust God, you employ someone who is actually capable!
God is immovable. His plan will not be halted by even the most obsessively painstakingly detailed hour to hour monthly planner. Who do we think we are here, people? We can either go His way quickly, willingly and cheerfully on our feet, or we can go dragged, kicking, screaming, pouting, donkey-legs-out where He wants us to go...right? Sometimes our only choice in life is the level of resistance. I have learned that some difficulties in life are simply the aftermath of the self-created injuries from resistance. Ouch. (Note: stubborn people often learn the hard way, by painful experience.) I'm *trying* to go His way now, walking, no more donkey-legs.
I do know that without a doubt, God will continue to bless us if we seek to remain in His will, no matter how things turn out, or where we go next. I've experienced this to be true. I wish I had figured this out sooner. I hope to keep this in the forefront of my mind (...and stay off my stubborn behind).
I'll try to update as things unfold. Thank you for your prayers.
Nicole
I have to tell you all, God has been good in providing helps in all forms when we need them. I can't praise God enough for the amazing ways in which He is evident in our lives through this. One huge bonus of being so sick is there is no doubt about a real and living Savior. His presence is undeniable when things suddenly just simply unfold before us out of complete confusion at times. We have this first trip mostly hammered out, but not the next. We are learning to take things one at a time, in faith, as we never did before.
This may be no big revelation to you, and if that is the case, I am very glad, but I have learned something I would like to share. As a person who used to plan things way in advance and stick tight to my plans, it is a big deal for me to learn to give my "planning" up for "whatever-comes-next" instead. Even at the risk of appearing flaky, unreliable, lazy and all of those other undesirables that type-A personalities loathe, I do not plan like I once did. Regrettably, I gave up my planning problem only by force, so I cannot toot my own horn here. (Note: more force required to change more stubborn people.) Currently, I am often unable to even plan to cook supper a few hours later, so I rarely make plans anymore. Here is where the problem/lesson learned about planning is:
I used to make decisions fast and often without consulting anything other than my own agenda. I used to be guilty of praying that God would work according to my very detailed plans rather than fully trusting His. It is silly to think I could become so focused on my own plans and still think I was allowing God to be in control of me day to day. There is a fine balance to be found between not wasting your day/time/resources by thinking ahead a bit and truly being free to adjust to life as God leads. One sign you may need help with this is if you constantly have feelings of disappointment or failure for things 'not going as you had planned.' I have become very familiar and comfortable with things not going as I planned as I never have before. It's quite freeing, really. When you give up pretending to be in control over your life and trust God, you employ someone who is actually capable!
God is immovable. His plan will not be halted by even the most obsessively painstakingly detailed hour to hour monthly planner. Who do we think we are here, people? We can either go His way quickly, willingly and cheerfully on our feet, or we can go dragged, kicking, screaming, pouting, donkey-legs-out where He wants us to go...right? Sometimes our only choice in life is the level of resistance. I have learned that some difficulties in life are simply the aftermath of the self-created injuries from resistance. Ouch. (Note: stubborn people often learn the hard way, by painful experience.) I'm *trying* to go His way now, walking, no more donkey-legs.
I do know that without a doubt, God will continue to bless us if we seek to remain in His will, no matter how things turn out, or where we go next. I've experienced this to be true. I wish I had figured this out sooner. I hope to keep this in the forefront of my mind (...and stay off my stubborn behind).
I'll try to update as things unfold. Thank you for your prayers.
Nicole
Monday, March 25, 2013
Correction
I spoke with my doctor and he thinks I had a sort of sleep walking/narcoleptic type episode, not a seizure. After his explanation, it makes sense to me. He had some suggestions about improving my sleep cycles and doing a detox for 4 weeks to see if that helps me.
I just thought I better update with the correct info!
Thank you for praying for me/us,
Nicole
I just thought I better update with the correct info!
Thank you for praying for me/us,
Nicole
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